Hello again! It's been too long! Life flies for me when I get so busy and I feel like this past year of my life has been so fast. SO refining and such a time of growth. We left off at New Orleans last post. That was an adventure! Since then we have had some Disney trips, a trip to Utah since our family lives there, a trip to Nauvoo, Chicago, spending a good amount of time in Houston. Even more involvement with my calling as a Relief Society President in my ward (congregation). Started therapy, started a financial family plan, decluttering... and I'm in the process of organizing my home. I'm baking a lot now too!
It's kind of funny how life works. I used to travel for work and keep so busy I barely was home I felt. So when I was pregnant with JJ, part of my worry was if I would be sad "not traveling" and not used to being "not busy" at home since I knew how much I'd want to be with him and we don't have family in Houston to really have helped me watch him. But turns out when your family and dearest friends are everywhere. You make it work and prioritize visiting them and them visiting you. We are very blessed in that way. And I actually still stay so busy with all the interests I have and all the things I'm trying to work on myself with from mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
I have also grown the most spiritual I have ever been. I constantly question my beliefs, I search for answers, I study history, and I listen to conference talks. I have an even stronger testimony of who Jesus Christ is and how blessed I am to be in His church. And for comprehending and learning more scriptures. I pray and I have found a new understanding of fasting. I am now on day 8 of my 21 day fast (I eat dinner daily) and it's been challenging but at this point I'm used to it. I felt the need to with everything going on in the world right now. Especially with how much bloodshed I have seen on social media and the media from innocent people, especially children. I also have empathized for those suffering in Israel too. I've also opened my heart to others struggling throughout the world. From food, water, medical needs, conflict, and afflictions. I'm very empathetic, emotional, and compassionate and sometimes when it's too much it takes a toll on me. So I have mourned, I've empathized, and I find ways I can take action. But also I find comfort and peace in my faith and beliefs that we will all live on again, that justice will be served (in the next life if not this one), that love and hope are they key factors that can comfort us and spread peace. And that it is not my burden to bare all the suffering in the world, I can not take the whole world on my shoulders. It debilitates me and does no one any good. I can only control myself, my light and love I share with others. I can not preach peace and then go about my daily life with those I see at the gym, on the roads, in church, and even on social media and condemn or oppress. I will not and I wish no one else would. Can you imagine how much better a world would be if we talked to each other as if we were loving siblings or if we truly all believed we were children of God.
C.S. Lewis once said, "It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations — these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit."
This spoke to me. I hope it can speak to you! I hope we can have peace. I hope that a peaceful negotiation with no blood shed can be reached between Palestine and Israel. I truly do. I have felt a lot of emotions from being so close to Israel/Palestine while I was in Lebanon. I'm thankful for my heritage, the beauty of Lebanon will forever be in my heart, as well as my family. I worry for them. I worry for the Middle East. I feel lucky to have been born in the United States, I feel lucky for my daily life, I have felt emotions of wishing I could give and do so much more. I have felt too privileged at times. I feel moments of peace and gratitude. And that living the best you can and shedding your light is the best way you can pay tribute for what you are given. We must stay humble and grateful.
I'd love to blog more again and share more about my trip in posts! This was more of a catch up and update on life. Perhaps I said too much, you may scroll along, but I thank you for stopping by! I would love to share pictures of the beautiful Mediterranean Sea, the food, and the memories. If not for myself and those interested. But at least for JJ to read about, as he was with me and only three. I am not sure if he will remember anything but I will. And he was happy and enjoyed it I felt!
If you'd like more details and more in depth of my trip to Lebanon I did record a podcast episode you can listen to here: